Please try and top this week

I've had one of those days-or weeks- that makes having diabetes seem like the biggest pain in the ass. I pretty much haven't been able to buy a break. In general, actually, it's been a week where you go "is life really suppose to be like this?"

Saturday began with me going out with friends and managing to drop kick my Deltec Cozmo across the street while running to catch the Metro. I picked up my life-line from the middle of the street, checked to make sure I wasn't oozing internal organs from my sticky site, and managed to insert a new one on the Metro (going backward no less!) The cap on the pump has a pretty nice gash, but nothing to warrant any return trip (seeing as my new one should be shipped any day now)

Monday morning I was on the Metro on my way to work, when a woman in a motorized wheelchair entered the train. Her bag on the back of the chair got caught and another gentleman and myself pulled it loose as the annoying voice of Metro screamed "DOORS CLOSING!" The woman continued to block the entrance of the busy train and as I went to get off, she decided to get out of the way too, wheeling herself right over my left flip-flop clad foot. My toes screamed and I couldn't help but give her the nastiest look I could muster, in between my tears. The throbbing continued for the morning and my toes are a slight green, but nothing broke and it seemed like one of those good Samaritan stories gone terribly wrong. You help someone, they run over your foot.

And then yesterday I spent 2 hours on the Metro going 2 stops. Yes, my train was behind a disabled one and I spent 40 minutes underneath the Potomac River only to be deboarded at the next station. At that point, roughly an hour an a half into my trip, Fiance was called and dinner was had in Arlington. Sometimes, DC just sucks.

Yesterday also led me on the pursuit to get an initial appointment with my PCP at my brand new HMO. I tried to schedule online and they told me I was shit out of luck. Beads of sweat on my brow, I'm surveying test strips and insulin like I'm about to head to a bomb shelter for a year. I think I can maybe make it until September? Today, I called for good measure and my PCP has TONS of openings. I got to pick a time on Friday. I can tell already that this is going to be an adventure. Also, since I'm new to paying for diabetes stuff, can anyone give me a rough estimate of out of pocket expenses for a month? I had military insurance before and well, I was spoiled rotten. A ballpark would be great so I don't keel over and force Fiance to sell his organs for supplies.

Alas, I make it to Friday and a hot one at that, and go to Happy Hour with my coworkers since this week, well, sucked. No beers or anything but a Diet Coke and good conversation and then BAM- pump decides to DIE! On my walk to Georgetown to meet Fiance and friends, I get error messages, key stuck messages, and overall bad times. I get the pump running enough to test, but of course, not to bolus as I dig into my potato skins and other delicious bar food. 30 more minutes of pump being a pain in the ass and I'm on the phone with Deltec asking "What the heck is going on?" At this point, buttons aren't working and I'm pissed off. They tell me they're sending a new pump, but not until Monday and I'm scrambling to figure what I'm going to do about shots since I'm endo-less and can't seem to remember what types of insulin I have at home in the fridge. Then, by the grace of God, and maybe Computer Hacker Savvy Fiance, the pump is magically working, but not until we're safely on our way back to our apartment in the burbs away from the fun-ness that is Georgetown on Friday night.

I'm home now and the pump is...pumping. I had the "you don't understand what it's like" discussion again with Tipsy Fiance which ended with both of us in bad moods and him in bed and me running things over in my head like "what if I didn't have diabetes?" or "why does this frustrate me and why do I let it since I know this is my life?"

This has been one for the record books, ladies and gents.

5 years

Yesterday, I "celebrated" having diabetes for 5 years. 5 years ago yesterday, I went to the doctor's to have some allergy medicine refilled and explained that I hadn't been feeling well for awhile. Later that afternoon, my adventure with this disease began.

Diabetes frustrates me on a daily basis, but I believe that it's taught be more about who I am than anything else in life. It brought be a great internship last summer, and it continues to make me wish that I was a doctor (so instead of 4+ years of school, I work for a medical NPO.) It makes me more sympathetic to others who have to struggle daily to manage their health. It makes me more active in our political system and I continue to submit my letters to my congressman and my sentators, encouraging them to make decisions that benefit people like me. It made my family closer because I knew at first I could not do this by myself. It makes me value everyday and appreciate the people that I spend my time with.

But, there are days like today and day's like yesterday, I wish that diabetes didn't exist. I wish that July 22 was a day I remember because it's my fiance' mom's birthday, not the day that I packed up and headed to Walter Reed. I wish that it wasn't the day I had my first shot of insulin or my first finger poke.

5 years ago...

Brief Update!

Hope you all had a great weekend. Mine completely flew by! Friday night was spent with some awesome people my fiance' works with. We went to Adams Morgan and danced and spent Saturday and Sunday wedding planning and looking at reception sites for our BIG day! I get more excited the more I talk about it, which has been ALOT lately!

Diabetes wise, I'm still trying to get insurance stuff in order. Hopefully after this week, I'll be set up with a new doctor and on my way.

Getting things in order

I finally managed to finish filling out my forms for the Cozmo upgrade. I just got my packet a couple of weeks ago, even though I swear I called on the first day. I can't be mad, because the Smith folks happen to be the best people in the entire world. I appreciate them more now that I'm out on my own---with my own insurance that I'm navigating along. I'm still trying to get things set up with a new doctor and with new 'scripts and am wondering if I made the right choice going with an HMO rather than the PPO. Darn you great insurance for spoiling me rotten.

In other news, I joined a gym last week and have taken a few classes with the fiance'. He's the only guy in the classes but it's great to have him there. My numbers have been excellent this past week and I'm chalking it up to the exercise.

As I posted earlier this month, alot happened during my last few weeks of college. I got an A on my senior seminar paper looking at the portrayal of diabetes in film as opposed to the real way it is. I looked alot of blogs for help with this and am happy to be a part of the blogging community like the Diabetes OC. I also got engaged to my boyfriend of 5+ years and we moved in together. We're getting married next June and are in the early stages of planning (ok, I already have the dress, and I'm obsessed with it!). I got a job with a medical society doing some marketing things and am enjoying working in DC. Honestly, DC in the summer makes me so happy. I work in a great neighborhood and there's tons of stuff nearby. On Fridays, we have a walking club that walks during lunch and we strolled to the White House. Even growing up around here, I was awe struck by the fact I was at the White House and more impressively, could see the Capitol Building. It was a perfect day and I'm truly blessed to be living this life right now, enjoying everything that this big city, that sometimes feels very little, has to offer.

If you've been lurking, please leave me a comment so I can check out your blog.

:o)

Weighing in....

If you check out http://www.cnn.com/ scroll through recent headlines and take a look at this article: http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/06/17/diabetes.bulimia.ap/index.html.

What do you think? How does it portray the diabetes community? Does it talk about the advances if diabetes technology? Advances in research? No, it talks about diabulimia. Here's some advice CNN: 1. Do a series of articles- like what is Type 1?, how is it managed?, what are the complications?, and then maybe information on complications and other social issues involved.

Maybe I'll have a different opinion in the morning....What do YOU think?

Introducing "Silly Sightings in the City"

Now that I'm officially a commuter, I've seen some pretty crazy things on my trek into DC in the mornings and on my way home to the NoVA 'burbs in the afternoon. I've decided to incorporate all the crazy stuff and my general thoughts about the city into this blog once a week and will call it "Silly Sightings in the City."

I hope you enjoy.

Silly Sightings Week #1 and Week #2
1. Many men in blue seersucker suits. Seersucker strikes me as funny, I'm not sure why. I guess I expect to see a frat boy in it, and not middle aged men.
2. A man with a "Special K" tattoo, like the cereal logo, holding onto the same pole as me on the train. It made me hungry.
3. A little boy staring at my pump tubing sticking out from my shirt and probably thinking I was going to blow up or something. When I smiled at him, he scowled at me and looked at his mom. I imagine he was relieved when I got off the train without combusting.
4. A woman who looked like Bert from Sesame Street. She had the biggest and most bushy uni-brow that I have ever seen in my entire 22 years.

I'm back, I think

Hi all,

Holy moley! I haven't posted since February and it's....JUNE! What the heck! I've been a busy girl---I finished my thesis, ran my organization's Gala and Finale event, got engaged, got a job, and moved! I'm now a DC commuter and loving the city.

Here's to more frequent posts and getting back to blogging!

A

He's some kind of wonderful

My boyfriend and I have been together 5+ years. Most people that I meet in college are sort of shocked to hear that I've been dating someone for that long and our relationship has endured the 127+ miles to and from his school to mine and almost 4 years of being apart. But, I love him more today than I ever thought I would love anyone in my whole life.

As I start applying for jobs and trying to figure out what I'm going to do back home, one of the things that makes me less nervous and more happy is that we'll get to be together. I'm happy that I'll be able to meet my sweetheart for dinner in the city, spend the weekends with him doing things like getting groceries and helping him to clean up his house, and hopefully living close enough to him so that I can be there if he needs me.

There are days I wish he understood more about diabetes, but I know he tries as hard as can. I asked him this weekend if I could put a site in him and couldn't help he would probably think I had gone off my rocker. I just thought if maybe he understand what it was like to just do that, maybe he would understand me just alittle bit more (I even offered to let him wear a groovy patch if he wanted) I'm sure that having a girlfriend that breaks up with you because her blood sugar is low is not pleasant (yes, this happened freshman year and was the closet I had ever come to passing out. I had to call him and tell him I couldn't really remember why we fought and that I was sorry.) or even convienent. But, since the beginning, he's been there. In the clinic where I was diagnosed, he was there for me to rest my head on and hold my hand. He is there to be uncertain of the future with. To rely on when there's no one else around who know what to do. To be comfortable enough to show the site to and comfortable enough to say, "Please scoot over, you're laying on my pump cord".

We go together better than pancakes and sugar-free syrup. We balance each other like orange juice and low blood sugar. We love each other more than a diabetic loves cake (and as I diabetic, I certainly am crazy about cake!).

Reddog, you are my best friend and I love you. Thanks for putting up with me, taking care of me, and being the light in what seems kinda dark. <3

Frosty Friday

<---Current art obession: "Waiting" by Andy Warhol

Well, here in VA were blanket and trying to dig out of the great ice storm that hit on Tuesday evening. Since the temperature rose above freezing this afternoon and caused the ice from the roof of my apartment building to melt, there is now a huge icy patch on the bottom stairs going out of my apartment to the parking lot which I manage to slip on and fall down the remaining steps into a huge puddle. No broken bones or anything, but a mildly busted up hand and very sore butt and knee. My good friend was behind me and fell when he went to help me up. It must have been a funny site, now that I think about it.

Diabetes wise, things are going alright. Nothing new to report, which I feel is a good thing. My weekly average is alot better than last week, even after eating things that normally make my body freak out like lasagna (I made it from scratch on Valentine's Day for my roomies since we didn't have class).

I applied for a job today, so I'm beginning to stress alittle less when it comes to stuff like that even though I'm still uncertain exactly what I want to do. My degree when I finish will be in Sociology (yes, it's okay to say "What are you going to do with that?" My friends still ask :o)) but I'm really interested in marketing, programming, event planning in the diabetes arena. It seems like alot of people in the OC have pursued careers related to diabetes...is it something you all feel into or actively pursued? Also, how do you all deal with the diabetes in interview settings? For example, if you are going to work for a pharm company, a diabetes nonprofit, or a medical device company, would you mention that you have diabetes? I know employers can't legally ask, but if you consider that having diabetes a selling point, do you bring it up? Let me know what you all have done!

Hope everything is going well with everyone!

Better days

<---Current art obession: Kissing on Valentine's Day Times Square - May 8th, 1945 Artist: Alfred Eisenstaedt

The last few days have been much better bg-wise. I finally was able to get things under control and have been checking religiously and trying to remind myself that things will be okay.

I spent the weekend in VA Beach with one of my best friends and boyfriend and had an absolutely amazing time. I love getting away for alittle while and I love experiencing new things. We had an awesome dinner at a restaurant called Fellini's (as in the director) on Friday night and then spent the evening dancing at a very cool club/bar in Norfolk. Saturday was spent shopping and enjoying time with my roommate's family--and eating amazing food that my roomies parents had made!

The next few weeks look to be busy ones with school and organization committments. I'm trying to not stress and take a few minutes each day to be in the moment and to try and relax. I don't want to look back this time next year and go "Jeeze, that was your senior year and you spent it worrying about everything, you loser!" When I was exploring ways to deal with my stress last semester, this is something that I really tried to embrace, but failed at. I had a hard time managing stress and I don't want to get so bogged down that I spiral into the sea of "OMG I'm drowning in everything that I need to do."

So, today I brought these Valentine's Day cards that you get to assemble at Target and did that between classes instead of starting my homework (I loooove crafts and the only reason I don't have all my artsy-fartsy stuff at school is because I have no space). And you know...I was in an awesome mood the rest of the day, having completely glued and glittered until I was as satified as a kindergartener after art class--seriously running around my apartment showing my roommates what I had made

It really is those little things that make days that could just be "blah" so much better.

Oh geeze...

Last night, I checked my bg before bed and was startled by a 486. Holy crap. Waves of panic. 3 glasses of water, multiple checks. I saw that my tubing was completely blocked. Got the kinks worked out, but woke up every few hours and check. Sailed in at a 175 this morning.

Now...pizza from a campus event for dinner and probably more gummy sour candy than I should have had and I'm 496. WTF! This is sooo not me. How does this happen? I think I'm doing so good, then BAM, like a MAC truck, I'm down.

I was looking at my averages and they have been pretty high. I need to get back on track.

NOW.

7 thoughts

<--- Current art obession. Audrey Hepburn Breakfast at Tiffanys. (Because my sister is obsessed with her and because she's pretty much a style icon.)

1. I made it back to school after a very relaxing weekend home in NoVA. No clubbing or bar hopping, but lots of fun with my family. I got to hang out with my little sister and enjoy some quality time with my mom and dad. My boyfriend was home this weekend, so we saw Alpha Dog with Justin Timberlake, went to dinner, and hung out. Always fun.

2. My roommates and I went to a coffee ship downtown tonight to do homework. I got alot done and got the chance to enjoy a delicious smoothie beverage. BG has been alittle high since then.

3. Even though I don't have class tomorrow until late, I have a "to do" list a mile long (cleaning my room is on the list...)

4. I need to finish my resume. And start applying for job. And decide what I want to do with my life.

5. Spring Break needs to hurry up and get here. With my senior seminar undergrad thesis in the works and a few other class projects starting up in the next few weeks, I am counting down the days until I get on plane and head to sunny Panama City for 7 days.

6. I love bulk sour gummy candy. Gummy worms, gummy gears, sour patch kids, sour gummy worms, neon worms, the sour watermelons, gummy sour fruit salad. All of them.

7. I am ready to graduate and start something new. Don't know where I'll end up, or what I'll be doing, but I'm ready for something different.

Wednesday---Is the week almost over?

<---Current art obsession: L'Instant Taittinger. Artist: Unknown. It's in my hallway of my apartment and it's cute. :o)

Even though it's only Wednesday, this week feels like it's been going on forever. No snow day on Monday forced me out of bed and across campus for meetings, lunch with my roommate, set up for an event for my job, class, Happy Hour at Chili's with my class, and Student Organization Night for my organization. I got home and felt like I hadn't seen my apartment in years. Tuesdays are my marathon days on campus with 3 classes from 11:00-4:45 and work from 5-8:30. I got home and allowed myself to veg out and watch John Tucker Must Die. Yes, I am lame and it doesn't take alot to amuse me.

My numbers have been pretty good the last few days. I had a low before bed on Sunday night, suspended my pump, and then fell asleep and forgot to turn the damn thing back on. 289 at 5am. Crap.

Another awesome thing I figured I would share with you ladies...Have you seen the Nick and Nora PJs at Target? The ones that look like old man pajamas? I have several pairs in completely outlandish prints-Dogs, Pink Poodles in Paris, Clouds, etc. They have these awesome pockets on the shirt which hold my pump perfectly. I always get stuck in my tubing at night if I just throw the pump in bed with me or I end up on top of my pump and my back hurts. If I drop my pump in the pocket, it's pretty easy sleeping. I've even pump my little black case with my checker in the other pocket and I am fully armed for any diabetes related nightly incidence.

They're pretty affordable at Target (the regular ones sold at the high end places can be alittle pricey) . Check them out. --->

I'm heading home to Northern VA this weekend to get my haircut, see my boyfriend, and to go out in DC. Should be a much needed good time.

Have a good one!

SNOW SNOW SNOW and grooviness...

<---Current art obession: Couple Walking Through Central Park, NYC Artist: Steve Linder

Virginia has been hit by it's first snowstorm this year and I'm very excited!!! Have you seen the movie "Snow Day" that came out a few years ago? The little girl in the movie is obsessed with snow days and the town she lives in only ever gets one at a time. She does everything she can to keep the Snowplow man from plowing. It's hilarious and my roommates and I are all about getting a snow day tomorrw. No more wishing for a delay, we want a full day! We'll see what they announce tomorrow at 6am. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the idea of maybe not having to go out tomorrow and the idea missing another nonprofit class (no class last week because of MLK) which is a complete waste of time in the first place.

One of my new obession in life are my Groovy Patches from www.groovypatches.com . I got them in my stocking for Christmas from my parents after having bothered them about ordering them. I pretty much don't wear a site now without wearing a Groovy Patch on top of it. I got Tropical ones for when I go to Panama City for Spring Break in March, but have been rocking the Retro and Butterflies. I'm sure my roommates are entertained when I change my site and run out of the bathroom with my shirt pulled up around my head, pointing at my stomach. Check them out. I'm a huge fan and wish I would have thought about this.

Hope each of you have been doing well. Let me know what's going with you!

:o) Allison

My week #1 encounter with someone who doesn't know a thing about the 'betes

<--- Current art obession: The Café Terrace on the Place du Forum, Arles, at Night, c.1888 by Vincent Van Gogh

Wow! The first week of class went fast and so did this long weekend!

I'm busy working on a couple of events for the organization that I direct on campus and trying to keep up on all the work that I have already this semester. I'm taking a block class on immigration and I think there was almost 100 pages of reading just for this week. When you have 4 other classes and 2 projects to work on, the reading isn't very thorough. :o)

At the beginning of the semester, I always have run ins with people about my diabetes. It came up when I was talking to a girl in 2 of my classes. She was asking what I thought I was going to write my senior seminar paper on and I was explain my interest in the 'betes and she said "Well, my dad has diabetes"- I assume Type 2 and am not really in the mood to have the difference in diabetes talk with her- but I ask, just to make sure. She says she doesn't know.

I can't get over how you live with someone and don't know. I mean, I know about my parents' health issues only so when I go to the doctor's I can give educated answers AND not look like a complete DUMBASS about my medical history. I just said "Oh" at this point, because I didn't want to get into it anymore than I had. It frustrates me when people don't know the difference between the two and really pisses me off when they have a personal connection to the disease and are completely uneducated. <---I'm done ranting, I promise.

So what do you all say when you meet people like this? What do you say to people that don't seem to care about a disease that affects MILLIONS--20.8 to be exact--of people and people they know---like us--on a daily basis??? How do you educate without being too pushy?

Musings

<-- Current art obession (a new feature of my blog)- "London" by Andrea Laliberte

I made it back to school safely and was reunited with my roommates and all my school friends. I'm still trying to imagine not coming back here next semester. It's definitely going to be a shock.

My schedule is pretty nice- no classes til the evening on Monday and Wednesday (only one on both nights) and no classes on Friday (a senior's dream!). 3 classes on Tuesday and 2 on Thursday. It's pretty nice. Even though I'm not in class alot, I'm going to be on campus a ton- holed up in the library doing research for my Senior Seminar class where I'm writing an undergraduate thesis. Yeah, it's going to own me. But, I have a good idea for a topic- last semester I wrote about the portrayal of diabetes in "Steel Magnolias"- notice how Shelby NEVER tests her blood sugar during the whole movie??? I'm thinking of doing the portrayal of diabetes in the media in general and connecting it with how diabetics are almost seen as a deviant group, etc.---I took a deviance class last semester and I think I could totally make it work. Any thoughts?

Diabetes-wise, things are great. My numbers have been pretty decent. The increase in exercise with running across campus and stuff has been really good. I've also been watching what I eat with the whole cholestrol thing.

Did you all know that the “Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act” (H.R. 3/S. 5) was introduced in the House and Senate last week and is expected to be voted on Thursday, Jan. 11? Make sure you contact your representative- you can sign up online through the American Diabetes Association Advocacy http://advocacy.diabetes.org/site/PageServer?pagename=AC_homepage and they'll help you with contacting the right people.

:o) Allison

Last night home

I always get sad the night before I go back to school. Tonight, I said goodbye to my boyfriend and tomorrow I'll say goodbye to my parents and my sister. You would think as a senior I wouldn't get sad and would be ready to go back, party, and officially be done. But I'm not.

I hate leaving. I love my family and feel the most comfortable being here daily to make them laugh. I love that my sister yells at me before I go anywhere to make sure I have low snacks, my mom tells me to check before I get in the car, and that when I'm at the mall I have someone there to hold my pump and so I don't have to find a bench to check my blood sugar. I love that I don't have to explain why my pump is beeping to these people. When I say "I don't feel so good" they know exactly that I'm low, need juice, need...them.

At school, I'm pretty much on my own. That scares me sometimes especially with those lows at night when I want my mom. Kinda like the one that Kerri described a couple of days ago at www.sixuntilme.com. When you want someone to sit with you or hold you or something, but since when I'm at school all I have is my roommates and you can't really ask them to hold you because that might be just alittle wierd, as much as you love them.

Technically, this is the last "last night home before going back to school." I like that idea.

In 5 months I'll be a college graduate. I'll be done. I'll have the rest of my life to live. Wow.

Happy 2007!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope that you all had a great evening celebrating. My boyfriend had a party at his apartment with a bunch of friends from college and some friends from our high school. It was a great evening and it was fun to ring in 2007, which will be a big year (I graduate in 5 months...Holy crap!!! Must find job. Must decide what to do with my life.)

My Christmas went well with my family and we traveled to NC to visit with my grandparents and cousins. It was nice to celebrate with them and get a chance to hang out, without having to worry about what I was missing at school or something like that.

Diabetes wise, everything has been pretty great. Nothing to exciting to report. Did any of you all receive the new Cozmo update about their changes to their pump? Check out their website www.cozmore.com and see the new features their adding. Some of them look pretty interesting. The only thing that totally bums me out is that they are redoing their colors and getting rid of my Atomic Purple (which I got because it's my favorite and one of my school's colors...but I digress...). The new colors are pretty, but I'm surprised they didn't introduce a pink one or something to capture the hearts of all those little pump wearing girls out there (me included!).

Do you all make resolutions? I'm trying to make health resolutions this year. I'm going to work to keep my A1C under the fabulous 6.8 and try to lower my cholesterol and try and excerise more. I haven't really taken advantage of the gym on campus- so since it's my last semester, I might as well. :o) Let me know what you all are resolving to do!

Here's to blogging more, stressing less, and living life to it's fullest in 2007!

A short appointment recap

Ok...quick post to update on my endo appointment.

1. I have high chlosterol...Yes, at 22 it's high. Significantly high. I have 3 months to get it down or I'm on my way to another pill to take in the morning. I was sorta depressed about the whole thing, as it's something else to worry about, but the changes I need to make will be better for my overall health, so I'm willing to make them. (Hopefully, I might be able to lose the 5 pounds I've been talking about losing--in time for Spring Break 2k7 in Panama City

2. On a very happy note....my A1c was a 6.8!!! The lowest it's ever been! I'm super stoked and am now working on keeping it down.

Alright, I'm at the boyfriend's house so I have to run, but in case I forget to post on Monday, MERRY CHRISTMAS BLOGOSPHERE!!!

Thanks for inspiring me!

Home for the Holidays

Yay! I'm home for Christmas and have been having a great time since I got home on Thursday. On Friday night, I went out with my boyfriend and his roommate and we had a great time partying in the city. Drank alittle too much, but my blood sugars were pretty good throughout the night.

I've finished most of my Christmas shopping and am working on a scrapbook (I used to work at a scrapbook store in high school and during breaks before I got my internship last summer...Yes, I sold stickers for a living and it was awesome) for my boyfriend's family. Their dog Oreo passed away a couple of weeks ago and the bf decided that a scrapbook with photos of the family and their pets would be perfect. He bought the supplies. I'm doing the labor.

Endo appointment on Thursday so that should be interesting...Will post more then.

Hope everyone is having a great week so far!