Saturday, January 06, 2007
Last night home
I always get sad the night before I go back to school. Tonight, I said goodbye to my boyfriend and tomorrow I'll say goodbye to my parents and my sister. You would think as a senior I wouldn't get sad and would be ready to go back, party, and officially be done. But I'm not.
I hate leaving. I love my family and feel the most comfortable being here daily to make them laugh. I love that my sister yells at me before I go anywhere to make sure I have low snacks, my mom tells me to check before I get in the car, and that when I'm at the mall I have someone there to hold my pump and so I don't have to find a bench to check my blood sugar. I love that I don't have to explain why my pump is beeping to these people. When I say "I don't feel so good" they know exactly that I'm low, need juice, need...them.
At school, I'm pretty much on my own. That scares me sometimes especially with those lows at night when I want my mom. Kinda like the one that Kerri described a couple of days ago at www.sixuntilme.com. When you want someone to sit with you or hold you or something, but since when I'm at school all I have is my roommates and you can't really ask them to hold you because that might be just alittle wierd, as much as you love them.
Technically, this is the last "last night home before going back to school." I like that idea.
In 5 months I'll be a college graduate. I'll be done. I'll have the rest of my life to live. Wow.